Journal Entry: Mon Jan 21, 2013, 12:28 PM
I'm the lonely man who walks down through this impassable road, surrounded by anything; no one, nothing.
I think my wounded hand is rotting, I don't want to look at it. I may loose my mind if I realize how bad it is. Somehow I know I'm gonna loose it. I'm getting tired, I must sit down somewhere... but where?
I don't feel my feet, I hate this white surface, I can't walk properly. Where the fuck I am?
I remember that hot summer in Hamburg, my brother was still alive, smiling as always.
Taking those photos with his new camera... happy birthday Günter. Today you would be twenty three.
I still cry when I think on you, like a baby. Like a fucking baby. My big brother, my inspiration...
I miss you so much. I'm getting mad here, you know how it is.
The white hell where there's no fire, but snow that burns your skin instead.
Today I have loosed my unite. They are all dead, brother, all of them are dead.
Russians are getting back, we are getting into the region more and more. This country is bullshit.
I want to be home, I want to hug mommy once more. Be with my sweet girlfriend and kiss her warm lips.
I'm in love, I want to marry her. The day I return back I will my brother.
Because I will return home. Death is not for me, I'm a fighter and always be. I will survive this unfair war.
I can't see the sky, it's full of dark clouds.
I have seen the moon during the battle, so shiny throw the clouds full of fire and deaf sounds. I looked at it and I dreamed for one second with that lake near grandma's house.
I saw myself sitting down in the shore; I was an old man, Günter.
You know what it means. One second after I was alone in the front, my comrades, all bombed or fired.
No more than bodies reduced to blood and red meat with worn green and white coats.
I continued with the fire though.
It's our duty isn't it? I never thought it was the end, so it wasn't for me...
I'm waiting for the next shock troops.
They were coming for help but haven't arrived. Six tanks my brother...
Do you think they will give me a honor medal? The Iron Cross 2nd class.
I'm the only survivor and I did it alone.
I don't mind if they don't give me it at all. I will settle if I return.
I don't want more of this, no more dead brothers.
No more snow, no more fire, just peace and silence.
A bed... oh God, I haven't sleep more than two hours per day.
I'm hungry and cold, this shit is clouding my mind. Wait, I'm hearing something now.
I think I have found them. Didn't I tell you Günter? I will be back soon.
Mum and dad are praying for news of me after your dead.
I'm gonna give them the news about my return personally. -
Listening to: Rammstein - Engel
Eating: Salmón ahumado